Emotion – Where Have You Been All My Life?

Emotion – Where Have You Been All My Life?

Emotion – Where have you been all my life?

Half a lifetime ago, I possessed more emotion than I could handle.

For me, strangely, it was golf that hit that particular spot.

The absolute joy of a ‘perfect’ strike of club on ball.  Then later, the natural vistas of well-designed courses.

Trouble was, I had issues that came with the emotion.

I called them passion.  Others referred to it as temper.

Either way, it couldn’t continue if I wanted to make a living out of the game.

Which is when I discovered ‘detachment’. Emotional detachment to be precise.

A calm serenity replaced the occasional silent expletive and Olympic-Standard club tossing.

To the extent that friends mistook the new me for someone who actually could care less.

Fast forward a couple of decades and golf had been replaced by business.


And the emotion, that once drew me to golf, was rekindled by something far more powerful.


For that, I am eternally indebted to Ryan Fletcher www.agentmarketingsyndicate.com for his first ever podcast.. One hundred in and it remains my favourite.

These are his words that inspired:

Words are like nothing else on earth. Their power is unmatched. They have the power to wound, to destroy, they can cut a person to the very core.  They can kill self-esteem, self-confidence.  Some words can even move people to extreme depression, helplessness, or even suicide.

But words, they can uplift.  I’ve seen it. They can motivate, they can inspire, they can encourage.  They can create movements, they influence and unite.

And just as easily as they can tear a person down, they can build a person up. They can give a person strength.  They can be used for good and for evil.

And outside of natural disasters and death, words, they’re so powerful, there’s nothing that they can’t do.

They can keep you out of prison. Or, they can put you in prison. They can start wars.  They can end wars.

They can make people fall in love. They can drive them to divorce.

If you think about the most powerful people on earth and that have ever lived.  I’m not talking about the richest.  I’m talking about the most powerful.  It’s those that chose and continue to choose their words carefully.

Poets, scribes, writers, speakers. Intellectuals of all types.  Virtually every one of these people were wordsmiths before they were leaders of industry. Before they were leaders of business, of charitable organisations. Before they were leaders of people.  And before they became leaders of the free world.

They strung together letters to create words. And words together to create sentences and paragraphs. And then stories.

They were storytellers, then they became powerful.  Not the other way around. 

They were storytellers, then they became influential.  Not the other way around.

They were storytellers, then they became leaders.  Not the other way around.”

Ryan Fletcher, Seth Godin, Simon Sinek, Mike Rowe and Donald Miller.  Each and every one an inspiration.  For their clarity of thought.  But chiefly for their use of


And my point is this:

If you are choosing an estate agent, their character and competence is still a requisite. But their ability to inspire, to move, is most persuasive.

For the most part, though, estate agency relies on a sales culture to persuade.

A cursory glance at the underwhelming PurpleBricks and YOPA adverts tell you everything you need to know about their way of thinking.

The estate agent that can truly inspire will use words to persuade.

Written or spoken.

Either, will be considered and of merit..

“Emotions actually come from belief”, Aristotle said, “about what we value, what we think and what we expect”

Those with zero or little emotion will try to persuade through logic.

Perhaps through character

“Why choose YOPA?

Here’s why not.

“Your own YOPA agent.  Sell for the best price. A speedy sale. Why pay loads in commission?”

Contrast that bland sales manipulation with one of the U.K’s very best estate agents.  Crayson in Notting Hill, London W11.

“We don’t just see buildings. We see the human side of brick and mortar. Property is highly personal.  But we all share one personal experience. The stress of buying and selling.”

A quick glance at any property on the Crayson web site reveals the depth of care that goes into word choice.

“This charming house manages to be at the centre of the Notting Hill universe, yet in a world of its own.  The world passes by your front windows, so you will never feel lonely, but the office (or playroom) at the back overlooks your charming garden, in total peace.”

Words and sentences they both may be, but only one signifies, to me:


What we value.  What we think.  What we expect.

I guess it’s not so much whether an estate agency has enough emotion.  But, whether they choose to reveal it.

And what they choose to reveal.

Plenty go for their love of shiny new cars.  Of their successful football club. Of their awards. Some, of their charity work.

Others, their expertise in the local property market.

But very few reveal much about themselves.

Why they do what they do, as Simon Sinek writes.

A shame really.  Might underneath all that brashness and confidence, truly lay a shrinking violet?

One thing’s for certain.

If any estate agent doesn’t inspire the vendor with his/her emotion, the logic of the sales pitch and the strength of character might not be enough.

Leaving just the fee.  And the valuation.

The same old story that many agents have been telling since time began.

We’ve chatted to quite a few extraordinary estate agents that demonstrate all three components of Rhetoric.

Listen in on our Needle & Haystack podcast on iTunes.  Or on our website, www.agencynegotiation.com

Thanks for reading.

Until next time.













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